"Lonely Girl"

"In loneliness, the lonely one eats himself; in a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose."

Friedrich Nietzsche

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It all began with the words:

"Tell me something about yourself that you had never told anyone - and I mean anyone."

That's when I realized:

Pain had become my deepest companion.

Shadows, my only comfort.

Isolation,

my solace and quiet escape.

And the truth?

The truth ruined everything.

Stop hiding.

Stop crying.

Lonely Girl.

Stop fighting.

Just feel it.

Lonely Girl.

You live – you're too much.

You breathe – you're in the way.

Your voice is a threat.

Your presence is a problem.

Every move

misunderstood.

Every glance,

misread.

Chained down by misconceptions,

And bent into shapes you never chose.

Tell me, what's left to do?

Lonely Girl.

Confronted by stereotypes,

They pressed you into a box.

Drowned you in comparisons molded by assumptions.

Mirrored you against strangers.

Until you're nothing but echoes.

A reflection – never a face.

A copy – never a name.

Who are you,

Lonely Girl?

They think you have it all together.

They think you are strong.

They think that you've figured it all out, unaffected.

They think you wear strength like armor –

Cloaked, covered, untouchable.

They praise the mask,

Not the scars underneath,

And mistake your numbness for resilience.

Ha!

If only they knew…

How loud the quiet gets.

How close you are to breaking.

Lonely Girl.

The war inside never ends.

Loss has become routine,

Losing things before you even have them.

Breathing in the ache.

Afraid to face the mirror,

Fearful of who's staring back.

Lonely Girl.

For needing to belong,

NO!

Lonely Girl.

For longing to be good,

To live without apology -

NO!

Lonely Girl.

For daring to dream of love

A home inside the heart,

No!

Lonely Girl.

Never forget:

You were born from sorrow.

Raised in silence.

Labeled a mistake before you ever spoke a word.

Taught to disappear gracefully.

You wished to be normal,

To be one of them – just once.

No!

Lonely Girl.

You never thought you were more.

Never wished for too much.

Just…peace.

But even that was too loud.

So, you asked for nothing.

And got even less.

Lonely Girl.

Tears became prayers,

Your pillow – a confessional.

Bruised by sorrow.

Sadness – a haunting lullaby.

Weeping in languages, no one understood.

A beautiful, empty work of art…

Invisible to the world.

NUMB!!!

When does it end?

When do the voices leave?

When will pain let me go?

Lonely Girl.

Tonight,

You will cry again.

The nightmare always knocks.

And because you still don't know how to live,

Another part of you will die.

Again.

Unnoticed.

Unclaimed.

LONELY GIRL!

Kerique Hoo-Kim