"Lonely Girl"

"In loneliness, the lonely one eats himself; in a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose."

Friedrich Nietzsche

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It all began with the words:

"Tell me something about yourself that you had never told anyone, and I mean anyone," that got me to realize how pain had become my best friend, how shadows became my peace, how isolation became my solace, and the truth plagued me.

Stop hiding behind it,

Stop crying,

Lonely Girl.

Stop fighting,

Accept it…

Lonely Girl.

You live it's a problem,

You breathe it's a problem,

Chained down by misconceptions,

What to do?

Lonely Girl.

Confronted by stereotypes,

Confronted with comparisons,

When would my identity stop being mirrored to another,

Who are you?

Lonely Girl

They think you have it all together,

They think that you have it all figured out.

They think that you are covered in strength,

Cloaked in and sheltered,

Ha! Ha!

If only they knew…

Lonely Girl.

The war rages endlessly,

Loss becomes normal.

I suffocate from the inside out,

Afraid to accept who I am…

Lonely Girl.

For wanting of acceptance,

NO!

Lonely Girl.

For wanting to be good,

NO!

Lonely Girl.

For wanting to live and love,

No!

Lonely Girl.

Do not forget that you came from sorrow

Birthed with resentment

Looked upon as a mistake

Wished you were normal like the rest,

No!

Lonely Girl.

I know you didn't think you were more of anything,

Wished of anything…

Except…

Nothing!

Lonely Girl.

Your tears are many,

Hurt your pillow,

Sadness your reality.

A beautiful but empty piece of artwork,

Void to the world…

NUMB!!!

When will it ever stop distressing me?

When will this curse set me free?

When will this pain let go of me?

Lonely Girl.

You will cry again tonight,

For the nightmare will visit you again.

And because you have no idea how to live,

A piece of you will die again…

LONELY GIRL!

Kerique Hoo-Kim