The Devil at my DOOR!
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
I tried to sleep that night but couldn’t, instead I sat up in bed for just a moment. Normally, I wouldn't be alone, but that night, I was. The conversation we had earlier that day had gone completely wrong. I had an intense feeling of aggravation. And to make things worse, I still had more to say. I needed him to hear me. I needed him to hear my voice. He had silenced it long enough.
I didn't intend to be quiet.
I intended to be loud. Not in a fit of rage, but in a way where he
would be able to understand that "I have had enough."
It took some time for me to construct a strategy that would hold up against the resistance that I was about to face, considering that he was under the impression that he OWNED me. It appeared to be coming together and I went about the day being as productive as I possibly could.
I felt confident in myself, but for him, I had some serious reservations. With no idea of what to expect, I prepared myself for the possibility of casualties,
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE MY ENEMY WAS A BRANDED NARCISSIST.
A part of me felt humiliated that I let it go on for that long, but I had no time for regrets. I just had to get out.
I went home, settled myself, ready to have "the talk" - y'all know “the talk!” It was almost time. The sound of the knock came so heavy through the door it frazzled me a bit. But before I got there, a weird feeling came over me. I shook it off, straightened my form, and opened the door.
Standing in my face was a man I had grown to love and hate all at once. But he took me by surprise with his smile. I panicked. That was not what I had in mind. And even though I knew he was bad for me, and there was something that I needed to say, parts of me still called for him.
Calling for him was not what scared me
What scared me the most was why those parts of me
weren't DEAD YET!
So, I shut the door in every effort to regroup and formulate a more tactical plan FOR THE DEVIL WHO WAS SMILING AT MY DOOR.
To be continued.
Kerique Hoo-Kim
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